Please help us decide what to do!!!?

Question

Yesterday my mate sarah and i went out to a gay club...and we were having an excellent time...until we saw something that we wish we hadn't.
Sarah and i have two other really close friends, a guy and a girl. They have been in a relationship for years...in fact i think i've only ever known them as a couple and i love them to bits (their engaged).
When we were at the club we saw our guy friends kissing this guy....he saw us looking at him and then he disappeared. Later on he turned up at Sarah's (we were both their) and begged us not to say anything and that he was very confused....so we comforted him...now i'm really unsure about gettin involved i love both of them we grew up together but one of my best mates is cheatin on the other. And i feel like if i get involved i will loose my guy friend but if i dont then i will loose my girl friend. Sarah wants to tell but i've managed to convince her not to until we talk to the guy to see if he will tell her....but from his reaction last night i dont think there is any chance of him coming clean.

Do we keep our mouths shut or tell??

Please dont answer with any homophobic comments because he is still one of my best friends and i love him no matter what!!!!

Answer 1

Well, I'll be really practical here, if u tell your girl friend, there's no guarantee that she will believe u more than her boyfriend, and then this guy will also never admit this, so u and sarah will be misunderstood, and u will lose both the friends. Besides, I am sorry but its they who decide what they want. if the guy is a homo, he will have to tell the girl some day or the other. If u stay out of this, then u can support both of them. All the best.

Answer 2

The KEY factor for me is that this couple are ENGAGED.



You need therefore to have a heart to heart with this guy and find out exactly what his sexuality is. He may be bisexual, not that makes things right but if that is the case, he can still love your other friend in a 'man woman' type relationship and I would therefore keep stum.



If however he is homosexual, then you owe it to your other friend to inform her because the relationship she believes she's in is a sham. If he is homosexual then tell him to tell her within a week or you will have to tell her that you saw him kissing another guy and he will have to then explain himself, atleast you have then highlighted the situation.



I know this is a difficult situation but I think it's very important to be honest in any relationship if it is to last, so if he is homosexual your friend needs/deserves to know.

Answer 3

You would want to know and so would I, invite her over and tell her. She might blame you, he will probably blame you but the poor guy should have been honest with her and when she does find out (that is a when not an if) she is going to hate you for not telling her. What a horrible situation for all four of you. Be brave, good luck.

Answer 4

Thats a tough position to be in and all i would say is that if you were his girlfriend would you want to know ? I think the answer is yes .Tell him you will give him a couple of days to come clean or you will have to tell her yourself .

Answer 5

If he is planning to marry this girl then he needs to tell her ... you must explain to him that he can't live with this lie...even if he is confused.

Tell him how he has put you in a difficult position and then give him a few days to come clean...it will be very unfair to his gf if no one tells her what is going on...she has a right to know ...this has to do with her future.

Answer 6

Oh really really tough situation hunni! :( I would try to get him to tell, otherwise u will tell her, which doesnt make the situation any better! But either way - he has cheated on her. I know i wouldnt want to be with someone who has cheated on me....especially with a guy.xx

Answer 7

before you decide his death by your decision, we all have moments of weakness it cant be to hard to understand his moment it may be a one off and not to be mistaken for an affair or any thing serious just a moment of passion we all have those-you must have had one hm ask him first before you decide his fate see what he has to say and go from there, that would be fair