Can someone please help me decode the enigma that is the male mind? Will he ever come back to me?

Question

We dated for 3 years in college, then started long distance when I went to veterinary school. One time while I was visiting him, I went through his text messages and found out he "took another girl home". When I confronted him and was about to break up with him, he claimed it was just a kiss. He begged for me back, saying I was his only love, the most serious relationship he's ever had, etc, and I took him back. Then later I got randomly jealous of some girl I saw he added on facebook. That triggered him to say he "can't do long distance for 4 years and put his life on hold anymore, it's too hard being away from me." He was crying the whole time. I begged for him to take me back, and he did. Then a couple weeks later, the girl I was suspicious of messaged me that she had been on several dates with him and they had had an hour long hook up/grinding session. As soon as she discovered he had a girlfriend, she ended it. I contacted him angrily and called him an *** hole. He said he was so sorry, he knew i could never forgive him, and I deserve someone better. He would always love me and care about me, but he can't do long distance anymore. Throughout the 3 years we dated he wanted to be with me constantly, texted/called me 24/7, told me I was his one and only,etc. Now, he barely responds when I text him. I stopped trying, and he didn't speak to me for weeks. Then he texted me "I miss you so much." I said I did too and wanted to be his girlfriend again, but he didn't respond. Why?

Answer 1

He sounds like someone clingy that can't maintain a healthy relationship once you guys don't meet for a while. Long distance relationships are hard anyway. I can't believe you said the male mind was an enigma xD. I feel like it's the other way around with female mind's being an enigma :). (Vegeta reference before he wears the pink shirt loool)

Answer 2

What I get out if it, is he doesn't want to break up but wants to have space. Now, he took a girl home and this implies he's done more but he's pretending he just kissed her. Chances are, the distance has made him wander and he's playing the field because you're not around to stop it. Personally, I would break up with him if I were you before he does it. Save your dignity and don't allow him to make a fool out of you. Better to let go then hang on and hear he's playing you. Sorry and hope this helps? Good luck

Answer 3

Okay, he has done many things to you and they are things that are, unfortunately, common for both males and females to experience.

If you really want to get back together with him, wait until you're done with your education. A long-distance relationship almost never works out, and the fact that you guys were still dating but he didn't get anything at all out of it since you were at school and he was doing who knows what can lead to him feeling the need to get that hole that you were filling refilled, since you practically left him (physically, not in the relationship).

As of now, don't let him on pressuring him to be on a long distance relationship. He clearly says that he can't do it, and you should be accepting of that. He needs a physical being to love and have fun with, dance with, go to parties with, etc. Suggest a break, during which you both can fool around a little, but once you finish your education, come back to him.

Answer 4

He might but let's hope you are not that unlucky and have some self respect. No man that will have an open relationship is worth it ever. Continue on the path you are on and dating as you are and you will end up married to a cheater who constantly emotionally abuses you.

#1. Don't date a guy that treats you in a way that you would not want your own future daughter to be treated by a man.

#2. Don't date a guy that does not have marriage potential, that just leads to heartache or a bad marriage.

#3. As soon as you find out a man does not have marriage potential dump him.

#4. Marry your best friend, passion comes and passion goes but friendship holds the relationship together in the in between times.

#5. Only date men who share your faith values and ethics.

#6. Only date men who share your desire to have or not have children or pets

#7. Only date men who are hardworking and financially responsible, save for the future, invest wisely. A ton of debt will quickly ruin a marriage.

#8 Only date men whose life goals are compatible with your own or with whom you are willing to compromise with to both accomplish your life goals.

#9. Only date good men who will make a good father to your future children.

#10. Only date men who believe in the sanctity and the permanence of marriage, if he is just trying it out or planning to cheat the marriage will end in heartbreak.

#11. Don't marry a man who has substance abuse problems, gambling or pornography addictions and other self destructive behaviors for he will be a captain that will take his ship down with him.

#12. Don’t marry the person that you can live with marry the person with whom you can’t picture life without.

#13. Read "Dangerous Personalities" by Joe Navarro and stay away from dating the men that he describes in his book. Once you know what a bad man looks like you will be able to quickly recognize him. This books could save you from a terrible marriage and messy divorce and is fully worth the investment. I will insist that my daughters and son read it before they start dating.

Answer 5

imagine that your going gluten free but your mom is constantly pushing you to have some of her cake... Eventually you'll crack, it may take days, weeks, months, but you will crack

IMO a nice tight vagina is in the top 5 of things I love and abstaining from it for 4 years just because of 1 girl is not going to happen and if you think he's any different then your delusional

If you want an honest relationship with this guy make it open

Answer 6

Not the way you want him to. He made it clear he won't commit to you long distance. Even if he agrees to date you again, you won't be able to trust him, and he won't stop seeing other girls behind your back. If you insist on trying to reconcile, then accept the reality of your situation offer him an open relationship. That is as good as it gets.

Answer 7

Why? According to your note, he's very clearly told you "why" at least twice. Throughout the 3 years you dated.. you two were very hands-on company. He liked it. The man wants real company. Someone to hold, to go dancing with, to be passionate with face to face and on a regular basis. Loving you from afar for years appears very unfulfilling to him. As it would for most people.

Answer 8

Why would you even continue talking to him? He's never going to commit to you and you know that. You will never be able to trust him, you'd constantly be worried he's cheating on you (and for good reason - he already has). I'd recommend saving yourself the heartache and finding someone who will be faithful.

Answer 9

Marry me instead. Forget the cruel hearted man. Read Romans chapter 8. Jesus loves you. Jesus Christ is the truth. Read Genesis chapter 2. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."- the Word of God.

Answer 10

It's hardly an enigma, dear. At that age they are following their penises. Your mistake was assuming that you had control of HIS.



Two things: you need to find a man who is past all that, and you need to learn to trust him.

Answer 11

Maybe you are trying too hard and too fast... A good technique is making him think he has you (subtly) for one month then not speak to him for one month and alternate... This ll make him want what he can t have ! Hope this answer was helpful, the best of luck to you.

Answer 12

actually I think he has the best solution It would hurt to bad for him to stay connected to you in a long distance relationship. He is protecting his own heart. Let him go he has made up his mind.

Answer 13

time to severe this bond of mistrust and find a better man

hes also fooling with other bitches in those weeks, trying not to get caught by staying in silent, and since your apart from each other its not like you can go their and talk to him, when someone is more focused on something they see more important, they see other things less important,



my own rant) - WTF why is it a nice girl who wants to be in a long term relationship ends up with a dog of a man who sleeps with other women, and then we have nice guys who want the same, but then their girlfriends end up ******* like 5 guys in the same night, like wtf?!?!? i'm really starting to doubt love and the things people say about relationships

Answer 14

He is not good enough for you. He will do something like this again and you will always live in fear. You cant change someone who doesnt love you as much as you love them. You dont lose anything. But he will lose someone that loved him. His loss