Why am i always the one left out?

Question

Why am i always the one left out?

I am in a group of three at school. My two friends get along so well and im always left out. I know about the quote 'three is a crowd', but its not just with these two friends that it happens. Even when im with a big group of friends full of girls and guys, i'm always the one left out.

I am a shy person, but im getting better. But I don't act shy around them... I let my full personality shine. I know i should talk to them about it but i really want to do everything to avoid getting to that stage.

It makes me cry. I hate it. I have always been left out since primary school. Is it because of my personality? I mean, i know that one of my friends loves my personality, and i really dont want to change it and pretend that im someone im not. I love my friends and i wouldn't trade them for anything, but i've just gotten to the point where i cant take it anymore. I need to know whats wrong with me...

Thankyou so much in advance.
:)

Answer 1

Sometimes friends don't realize they're excluding someone. It has happened to me plenty of times. And I've done it to friends plenty of times.



Next time you feel left out, talk to them about it. Tell them how it makes you feel. Ask what you did to make them exclude you. Chances are they just didn't realize they were doing it. Good luck. :)

Answer 2

First of all, nothing is wrong with you! You've already worked out that you shouldn't change who you are, which is incredibly important.



Secondly, the key really is communication. I know you said you don't want it to get to that stage, but really, it should be the first stage, so it's largely unavoidable. It's very likely this is part of a misunderstanding; perhaps your friend/s feel you don't want to spend as much time together, or that they don't interest you much any more. It's really important that you let them know how you feel. The trick here is to not be accusatory. Use 'I' statements like "I've been feeling left out" rather than 'you' statements such as "you always exclude me".



Above all, be you! Hope this helps, best of luck.

Answer 3

there's nothing wrong with you =/



with regards to the three:

maybe they're just doing stuff together out of habit. next time they exclude you, just ask to join in. for example if they plan to meet somewhere without you, ask if you can go along. if they talk about a super-awesome outing they went on, tell them it sounded fun and you'd like to go too next time.



You don't really have to say "i feel excluded", but you need to start telling them you want to be involved in the stuff they do so that they think to include you.



if they start excluding you all the time on purpose, then it's time to find new friends. but it sounds like it's just by accident.



with regards to the groups:

pretty much every shy person gets excluded in groups, it's because groups are big and led by the louder and more outgoing ones. you could try looking for other people who are on the outside of the group not talking much and then you can talk to them :) they are probably feeling excluded too

Answer 4

I had the same problem, so don't worry. I would try to completely outshine them. They ended up seeing that I could be alot more than just a audience. I MADE them see the real me. Sometimes, u can't just wave to get somebody to notice you. It might take a nice slap in the face too

Answer 5

Sometimes friends don't realize they're excluding someone