Ended it with best friend of 8 years? (lengthy...)?

Question

Recently, I ended it with my best friend. We have been BFFs for 8 years. He's male. I am a girl. Don't get it twisted though--he's gay. Lol. I'm 20 he is 20 going on 21.

It all started when he finally got a boyfriend. He met him online. They are in a long distance relationship. Ever since they have started talking, he has been ditching plans and making excuses just to stay home and skype him. And he confessed it to me at many points. I would ALWAYS make it a point to contact him and see if he was up to hang out. However, he would always say "no (inster excuse here)". I got tired of the excuses. We hadn't seen each other in like a month.

So what did I do? I started hanging out with other people. I HAVE other friends. Maybe with not as much history, but i do have other friends.

So on the day that I hung out with my two other friends, we had a BLAST btw, i posted picture of us on facebook, thinking nothing of it. And that was the day he blocked me on facebook from seeing his status'.

I finally confronted him about it, and he said "Well, I blocked you because I always talk about my boyfriend and you hate that, so I didn't want to annoy you with my status'." I rolled my eyes. I knew it was a dead LIE because he also blocked my other best friend on facebook, and my best friends best friend lol. Then I called him up so he could tell me the REAL truth.

He started saying that he blocked me because he HAD said some bad things about me on his status'. I figured that much. Then he started saying he was envious that I was hanging out with other people, and never invited him to join. Ridiculous. Because I always made an effort to try and hang out with him, and he would ALWAYS say no. So what am I supposed to do? Wait for him to remember I exist? I DO have other friends.

Then he said he started distancing himself from me because of what I post on my BLOG. My BLOG. He doesn't like how I would talk rudely about these guys I have dated in the passed, or how I would blog about my issues with a girl I am seeing now. The funny thing is, he has never MET any of these new people in my life, yet he has an issue. He claims he doesn't think I talk to these people about my issues with them. He said he "knows how weak I am". When, whether I have talked to them or not...THATS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

(He even went anon on the blog site just to throw hate messages at me. I later found out it was him.)

Then he said "the things you post are just negative, and i don't want to be around that so i distanced myself from you so you wouldn't post anything bad about me...". Really? REALLY? At this point, it's just really childish. Yet he claims I'VE been the one ignorang him/distancing myself from him. Yeah, sure.

Anyways. I got all my feelings out, and so did he. I honestly did not understand his POV. It sounded like he tried to spin everything around and make it seem like I was the problem and HE was the victim. I don't see it that way. I KNOW when I am in the wrong, and I just wasn't at this point. He was getting upset over things that didn't involve him, and would whine when his plans of "ignoring me" backfired.

So basically, what did I do? I went to my blog and blogged about everything that happened in that phone convo. I talked about how I didn't understand..etc. Everything that I already talked to him about. It's my blog. I let my feelings out on there. Its therapy for me, almost. A stress reliever. He finds the blog post and just takes everything I said negatively.

He then sends me a text saying "If you think this is just about your blog then you're even stupider than I thought." then he proceeded to call me "trash" and said I'm "through". Which is hilarious, because not once have I called him any negative names throughout this 'fight'. So obviously, now we aren't friends anymore.

I will say, I was a damn good friend. I was the only person besides his parents who cared to visit him while he was in the hospital. I did so many things for him, and he is saying all of this. This is NOT the first time we have fought. We fought sophmore year of highschool (we are both in college now) and he got upset over me arguing with another girl on myspace. We were young. Getting upset over social networking is childish.

Did I make the right choice? Honestly, I can say, in the months that he stopped talking to me, good things have happened. I met someone I really REALLY like. I have made new friends that I consider to be longterm relationships. I'm doing better in school, getting ready to transfer. And he is moving in with his drug infested brother and dropping classes.

Answer 1

Honestly, you do sound mean and vindictive. He was right about your blog, you did write about him. He's right. It's not a good character trait to talk about people out in the open like that about intimate relationships. People can't have a real intimate relationship with you if you are going to do that. Some kinds of people can deal with that, but not everyone.

Answer 2

I read of most the post.



I'd say it common sense to ditch a friend that you disagree with fundamentally whether he's the unreasonable one or not in this case, he clearly is; and I say that because I had a gay friend who was actually similar but way worse than him.



You're just trading something that went rotten for something fresh and healthy.



He was just possessive of you. I've been there. My selfish ex-friends would blow me off or bail on me on the last minute after I made efforts to hang out. Whenever I was hanging out with someone else, those friends would be so pissed and find reasons to pick on my other friends. AND, then complain about me not being there for them. These selfish friends have a hard time keeping long term friends, and it took me too long to notice why they were lonely when I first befriended them.



In an ideal world, we wouldn't have people THIS selfish. We meet them, see their true colors, and the move on.....hopefully. Leaving a friend isn't usually easy. But bad friends are no brainers.



But that blog, how public is it? Are you trashing people for everyone to see even the people that know you personally?

Answer 3

This can be a hard one. On one hand chidren that age and even younger will masturbate, and girls do in most cases orgasm. Nevertheless they don't masturbate since it's sexual, they simply do it seeing that it feels just right. However, it is not usual for an eight year ancient to be sexually became on comfortably by watching sex scenes in movies. Anybody has exposed her to those films and also i would fairly query if shes being sexually molested or has been sexually molested. As bad as this sounds when ladies are raped they tend to crave sexual pleasure afterwards (although they on no account wanted the rape or molestation to occur to begin with) it can be an awfully pleasing feeling for women when their clitoris is being motivated (either by oral intercourse or sexual activity), so sure if she used to be molested, then she's seeking sexual pleasure through watching these movies. You ought to ask her if any person has touched her down there or raped her, she's ancient enough to give you a sure or no reply. If anybody has you have got to make it clear to her it wasnt her fault and no one is allowed to touch her anywhere espically sexually. Also when she mentioned she appears like "peeing" thats her pronouncing she's in a position to squirt liquid, however again I find a rough time believing she could orgasm like that simply with the aid of staring at a film, more commonly ladies simply have a average orgasm (ie vaginal partitions tighten, body shakes, sweating and so on). To deliver a feminine to squirt beverages it needs to be completed by way of either being fingered or an object. Next time she says she appears like "peeing" ask her if shes simply fearful or has to go to the toilet, it could be simply that. Also you need to let your mother and father find out about her staring at these online videos, she's way too younger for that, and your mother and father have to put parental controls on her laptop so she can't access the videos.

Answer 4

In life god made us pass across people for a reason,

To become a lesson or to become a beautiful memory.