How to phase old friend out.?

Question

I have an old friend who I have nothing in common with which is why I use the word old. She has no life and spends all her time talking about other people's lives, gossiping, etc., and well I don't trust her at all. I make sure to never tell her anything personal about myself bc I know how she is. We stopped talking after I caught her attempting to steal money from me, which of course she denied, but then a year or so later she contacted me via email. She will text me, I won't respond and then monthly she'll call just to find out what's going on in my life. We have nothing to talk about, it's just her talking about other people. I haven't seen her in months. The only communication we have is her calling all the time or texting me giving me updates on whose getting married meanwhile i have not seen or spoken to these people in 10 years or so lol so why would I care. She's trapped in the past. My only friend I have is pretty much my boyfriend but right now I'm happy and I know in time I'll make new friends, ones I like. So how do I phase her out? Just continue not returning calls. And I do not think I need to sit and tell her listen there's no friendship here.

Answer 1

If this relationship is so meaningless to you, then just cut her off. Tell her that you don't want to get involved in everyone's drama. It's pretty harsh to lead someone to believe that you're still friends and that your life has just become increasingly busy. I'm sure (unless she's oblivious to the fact that you don't tell her anything about yourself that you don't want to involve her in goings on in your life) that she sees your relationship on thin ice. Be honest.

Answer 2

See when i read your question, i couldnt believe it as i am in the same boat as you. I will tell you exactly what i did ok?? First of all i had a friend for 10 years and i was really fed up with her. She always complained about having no money even though she did have it. She was always wanting to know what was going on in my life and i hated telling her anything. So this is what i did. I didnt phone her anymore even though she phoned on the odd occasion. i used to help her out with her kids and i stopped that and it made her moody anyway. lol As i was always doing things for her. She eventually stopped phoning as she must have got the hint, so it will happen and she will get the hint if she knows that your not gonna phone her anymore. Dont answer the door, i know its cruel but its the only way cos sometimes friends can make you miserable anyway. Good Luck and by the way my best friends are my 4 kids. I couldnt get any better than that. I wouldnt say their dad is my best friend but i am glad your boyfriend is your best friend.

Answer 3

If she calls don't answer the phone or text her back. She will get the eventually get the point. You do need to have friends other than your boyfriend or at least a hobby. The worst thing you can do is stop having your own life even though it may not seem like it now. He should have his own life too. It's good for both of you.

Answer 4

It would be nice if you could just say to her the next time she calls round with her yarns, "'I'm pleased to say that I have enough to do to keep my own life in order, so other people don't interest me much, so I think you should find someone who has time to talk to you about the things you are interested in, because I don't have time to". You may have to re phrase it a little, and you will have to practice it , it might work, I assume you wouldn't mind her being offended, if that is possible.

Answer 5

AGH! I have a friend like that as well. They call randomly and do nothing but fill y ou in on others. So annoying. Program her number in your phone as "dont answer", Im not joking! Dont give her any more reason to keep calling you. Being friendlly, answering etxts, emails, calls will only give her the immpression you want to hear from her. Ignoring is best.

Answer 6

It's sad, but it sounds like you've outgrown her and she is stuck in a childish mindset from her "good old days". You definitely have to cut her loose. You could keep avoiding her or simply answer her call one last time and tell her you just don't think she is good for you and you do not want her to contact you again. If you do it quickly it will be like pulling off a bandaid (hopefully!)



good luck!

Answer 7

Well, she's obviously not getting the hint from you not returning her calls so why not try being blunt with her? Let her know that you're tired about hearing about other people's lives and unless she has something meaningful to share she should stop calling you.

Answer 8

Yea just keep doing what youre doing and she'll get the sign.. or just act like your busy all the time. So if you do bump into her in the future you dont feel awkward.

Answer 9

personally, i'd just change my phone numbers. and possibly email address. sounds as though you've phased her out and she just isn't catching on. so just eliminate any way of contacting you.