Im 13 and me and my best friend are suffering a suicide...we just need help on dealing with it?

Question

On tuesday night i found out that my brothers best friends shot himself and my brother found him. he was like my brother and he is gone forever. i just dont know how i should deal with this because ive never had to before. me and my best friend were so close to him. we tried to go to counselors but they were no help at all. we need help dealing with this pain and we dont know how. if u want detals email me.

RIP MATT YEAGER...I LOVE YOU

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Suicide is definitely a tragedy in every level and there will be times when you wish you could have done something to have prevented such a loss. I've had a lot of friends that have died from their own hands. The only real way to deal with something so tragic is to actually come to terms with it. There really isn't a way (even if you sought professional help) to tell you how to deal. You just do. In your OWN way. And not one person can really tell you how. Try and spend time with your friends and family and talk about it. Talking about it and not keeping it in really helps. And if you need to cry, take all the time you need. As cliche as it might sound, the only way to deal with the pain is TIME. Don't think about the bad, and the what if's and such...just think of the good thoughts. Because now...all you have are memories. And i'm sure your friend Matt would have wanted you to think of the good times. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're coping well. Just try not to be alone and be around friends who will listen and be a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 2

Hey Bee,

I'm sorry you are in pain and confused as to why someone would do that to the people they love. Only your brothers best friend has that answer. We are left behind to deal with the pain and the unanswered question. Why? There are so many things in this life we have no control over. We just have to find a way to learn from it so it wasn't for nothing. Maybe try and treat better in your school that gets teased all the time or that nobody likes. You may make a difference in their life. Suicide is very serious and it effects everyone. Life is so precious and it is so sad that we live in a society that looses so many young wonderful people to suicide. Talk to anyone who will listen and I hope you get tons of good positive answers from your question. Your pain will heal, but this is something you will never forget and it may end up saving someone elses life. Tell everyone what happened and how it made you feel.

Answer 3

This is a tough time for you, and it hurts, but time will heal it. You're focusing a lot on the grief, which everyone naturally does. Think about the better times you had with this person, and try to appreciate those times. Pickachu makes a really good point. You're friend must have felt that he was causing people around him too much pain, or was dealing with too much pain to handle it. When a person commits suicide, their logic is that it won't affect anyone if they are dead, and if it does, it will only be a positive affect. You're friend didn't want you to hurt like this. So like i said, just remember the good times, and with some time, you will get over this. As far as the counselor thing goes, you should give that time too. Counselors don't help people in one day, its not possible. Their goal is to get you to cope with the pain yourself. So you and your friend should always have him in your hearts, that the best thing you can do for him, and is the best way you will overcome this sorrow. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

It's going to take some time. It's hard to loose someone you love but you just have to keep talking about it, crying and other things like that.



My best friend's little brother was going to play a joke on his friends, but something went wrong and he hung himself. He was a great kid and I had to keep remembering all the good things about him and the fun we had together. So in his honor I became a funnier person. I do more jokes and I say more funny things. I enjoy life more for him.



Your friend lives on in you. You and the people he knew are the keepers of his memory and it's up to you to remember him in a good way and make sure everyone else does too.



I'm not saying it'll be easy. It never is but it gets easier with time. Try going to a counselor later. Right now it's too close. You need to breathe a little and get past it some. Realize you need help to move on...because right now you really don't want to...because you still miss them so much.

Answer 5

There is no easy way to deal with this. The best bad advice I can give is to stick close to each other. You are all hurting, so try not to let the tension cause conflicts between you. If you have an adult you are close with, a parent, a teacher, a religious leader, even a neighbor down the street, anyone you trust, talk to them. You don't have to go through this alone, find SOMEONE to talk to, it doesn't have to be a counselor. Also, keep doing the things you love to do. Be around people who make you happy, do things that make you happy. Don't stop living. My first instinct was to be angry, and it ruined a close relationship I had. Express your emotions, but be careful how and to whom you express them. Like I said before, realize that others are going through this too. And take care of yourself. I'm praying for you.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You know you are in my thoughts and prayers.



It must have been awful for your brother as well. I don't know exactly what I would have done. Right now you will need to focus on making it through one day at a time. Your life will go on even though you may not feel that great right now.



The friend who shot himself must have had some serious problems that you may NEVER know about. Even though we know people, we don't necessarily know everything about them. We all have secrets hidden from those close to us.



Please make a concerted effort to share your thoughts with others close to you, and don't become one who shuts out other friends and relatives. The more you speak of your friend and his LIFE the more you will realize that he can be a turning point in your life for the bettter. Try to celebrate his LIFE instead of his death, by remembering the Good things about his life.



Also, you should tell those around you that you appreciate them and that you love them. Don't postpone today anything that you think needs to be done. Appreciate life in those surrounding you. You will have less regrets if you focus on the lives of those around you. Sometimes it helps to volunteer somewhere. You could become a volunteer at a local hospital working with sick kids. There are a lot of opportunities to help others, instead of only thinkiing about yourself.



Good luck. I know you can become a fantastic help to others.

Answer 7

This is a really sad situation. I am terribly sorry. I hope that you and your friends don't have any ideas of doing the same thing. It sort of sounded like that in the first part. Anyways, just know that what he did is very sad, but you shouldn't ever do it yourself. That is not the way to deal with your problems. It is very sad, and it will take some time before you feel like laughing again or having fun again. For now, you need some time to be sad. Don't stay sad for too long though. You don't want to spend the rest of your life being sad about this. Again, I am very sorry.

Answer 8

Go to his parents and be there for them. For as much as you are suffering, I can tell you from experience, their pain is much worse and will always be there to some extent. Yours will heal. When my brother died, NONE of his friends were there for my parents. ONE came by sometime after the fact, and THAT was because he felt he was to blame. Until my parents said otherwise. They said we could call them anytime, that they'd be happy to help in any way they can. That wasn't the case. ALL of those friends said we could they never heard from him again. They tried calling his friends, because he was a Trekkie, and so were some of them, and they had some Star Trek stuff to get rid of, and they NEVER returned the calls. So you and your brother do whatever you can for them. Don't say it and not follow through. Do it.

Answer 9

first let me start by saying how sorry I am for your loss it's tough going thru this at any age you really need to try to get counseling help again go to someone else if needed just get help you can't keep this all inside it can be an extremely confusing time for you, you all have to realize there was nothing you could have done it was something he was dealing with he needed to help himself and for whatever reason didn't follow thru with that but know that at least now, even though, you all are in pain, he now is no longer suffering I know it's bittersweet and very painful please seek help god bless all of you

Answer 10

im soo sorry for your loss. i know its hard to deal with a death. a lot of people i love and knew have died. you need to look at why he did it. he must not have been happy. think that he is in a place where he will always be happy. you and your best friend are together and it is easier to deal with it with the help of someone else. think of all the good times you have had with him, not just the fact that he is gone. if you need any help, email me [e-mail]...

Answer 11

I don't know how much this will help. Losing someone is hard especially when they are very close with you. Remember all the good times you had with that person. Even will all the pain, sometimes good memories can bring a smile to your face.

Answer 12

A counselor doesn't help you in a day -- the shock and grief do need time to run their course. Keep on seeing someone, and keep on talking about how you feel. It gets better in time, but it DOES take some time.

Answer 13

Do not confuse being bi w/ being a currious younger woman. Round your age ladies get semi crushes on different ladies when they subconciously admire them for whatever cause. This is utterly typical to do and occurs to significantly all people. In order that you know bi is not the new black and weekend lesbians are so 2003, so are attempting to determine if you are in deed bi or just admire distinctive women for distinct characteristics. In all seriousness, a small percentage of bi chicks your age are quite bi or lesbians. Most are simply currious, and see how older girls get concentration for appearing bi and wish some awareness/affection for themselves.

Answer 14

Everyone handles death differently.Its OK to cry,try talking to your mom.try asking your friend mom if you can come over and talk or do things around her house.Ask if you can have a personal item that you can Cherish forever.Try talking to your teachers at school they may can help you some kind of way.You may need some time out of school to try to make sense of things.times will be hard but you have to be strong.

Answer 15

You and your brother need to have a long sit down with your parents. If you are religious your spiritual leader may help as well. You are on my prayer list.



I also agree with Loraine a visit to his parents to share your best memories of him . Remind them that his life met something, and was important to you and others.

Answer 16

oh my god you poor thing! i would be devestated if that happend to me! i have had people close to me die. all i can say is, the memory of him isalways going to be there but over time, it will get easier. wow. hang in there and keep the happy memories close. i REALLY hope this advise helped. and im really sry about what happened. even though i dont know you.

Answer 17

i lost a friend like that,its something you never can get over,you just keep living.life goes on.they arent suffering anymore from mental stress.It takes time.You should understand it is awful but dont you die too.Bless your heart,It hurts so bad to lose a good friend esp.to suicide.Its very painful.Just say a prayer.

Answer 18

do no longer confuse being bi w/ being a currious youthful female. around your age females get semi crushes on different females while they subconciously know them for regardless of reason. it is thoroughly usual to do and happens to tremendously definitely everyone. just so which you comprehend bi isn't the hot black and weekend lesbians are so 2003, so attempt to ascertain while you're in deed bi or in basic terms know particular females for particular characteristics. in all seriousness, a small p.c. of bi chicks your age are extremely bi or lesbians. maximum are in basic terms currious, and spot how older females get interest for performing bi and choose some interest/affection for themselves.

Answer 19

its death its gonna hurt. if you or your friend are feeling suicidal about this you can contact your local mental health and they can help. having delt with an uncles suicide before i know that your just going to be upset, you'll get over hard. hard to beleive but everyday will get easier as they pass. hang in there

Answer 20

Your friends have suffered enough. Now imagine yourself gone. You wouldn't want to hurt your friends and family the same way your friend did, do you?

Answer 21

WRITE EVERYTHING OUT....BY THAT I MEAN WRITE UR FEELINGS DOWN ON PAPER AND U CAN EITHER BURY IT OR BURN IT OR U CAN GET A BALLOON AND WRITE HOW U FEEL ABOUT IT AND ONCE UR DONE JUST LET IT GO AND IT WILL GET TO HIM ...SO HE CAN SEE HOW UR FEELING AND HOW HURT U R...I HAD TO DO ALL THAT AFTER I FOUND OUT MY FRIEND DIED DURING HURRICANE KATRINE



R.I.P DORA

Answer 22

see a school counselor or a religious person for help. or talk to your mom.

Answer 23

WELL KILLING YOUR SELF IS DEFINITLY NOT A SOLUTION TALK TO SOMEONE YOUR AGE CUZ CounseloRS DONT HELP BUT UR OTHER FRIENDS MIGHT

Answer 24

he is in a better place and what helps is if you scream out loud outside and cry and move on with life

Answer 25

Pray to God for him to help you get over this pain.

Answer 26

This site has links to depression and how to deal with it. http://www.anxiety.com

Answer 27

i havent had this happen so i dont know how to help you out here....sorry!



i hope you overcome your pain..... :-(

Answer 28

Talk to someone...