What do you do when you've lost all your friends?

Question

This is probably going to sound pathetic but I pretty much don't really have any friends anymore. Before I left college about a year ago, I was in a small group of close friends who I had known for years, and I never really felt lonely. I thought they were good mates at the time, but then after I left, none of them bothered to get in touch with me again. I know I probably should of made the effort to ask them out to places as well but I was actually going through pretty tough depression at the time.. I left college because I found the work overwhelming and stressful, and I told them the reasons for it and they seemed to understand. One of them even promised me we would still be friends, but not one of them ever really spoke to me again after that. I spoke to one of them briefly, but they never really bothered to invite me to events that they had all planned, like they normally would of if I was still at the college, which really upset me. It just put me off talking to them again at all tbh. Months passed and still no one had bothered to keep in touch or even ask me how I was doing, and it just made me think, well they aren't really real friends then if they couldn't even be arsed to try and speak to me. As for other mates, most I had fallen out with, and then not too long ago I realised one of my so-called 'friends' had been slagging me off behind my back as well.
Anyway my problem is, I've been trying to be strong and be more independent on my own from now on, learn not to expect things from anybody anymore. But it is so hard because I feel so alone all the time, I never really get to go out anymore apart from with family, and I get depressed so much about it. Even worse is that my 18th birthday is coming up soon and I'm not even able to have a big celebration because of it. If I still had a few friends, I would, but i don't have one. I just want to know how to cope with this, because I just feel like I'm unliked by everybody and that I'll probably never make any new good friends again. I know I could go and join volunteering groups or something and meet people there, and I'm considering it, but even still I'm very shy and find it hard to make new friends and just go and talk to random people. If anyone has been in a similar situation and come out of it now, do you have any advice? Thank you

Answer 1

Start focusing on your future and stop worrying too much about being lonely. Wherever you go you're bound to find people who will talk to you and befriend you tomorrow but you need to make yourself look available for friendship and not hide from the world. Go back to college or if you don't fancy it then find yourself a job. Plenty of people will be friends with you at work just like in school.

You seem a little down and confused but the best way to deal with this is to sit yourself down and start making plans for your future and find out what you like doing and what needs doing and go get it. You can't get things if you don't work for it.

Try to be positive always and stay away from negative thinking which will only hold u back in life. Join a Gym and many people will talk to you if you make the effort to smile and ask for help :-)

Go to a park or a coffee shop read a book and maybe a nice guy would come to you and say hello. I always say hello to nice cute girls reading books :-)

Too many ways to get friends, I think anyone can find friends but depends if you are ready for it and if you're in a good mood. Plan it in your head and imagine how you'll go out one day, where you'll go, what you'll dress, and who'll approach you and how you'll talk to them, what topics you may wish to speak about etc. Planning makes life easier to handle and sets the right ways for you!



keep smiling :-)

Answer 2

I'm so sorry. I know what it's like. It's a terrible feeling, I moved, and they totally forgot about me, and my other old friends have turned on me and started bullying me. But the thing is, you have to move on. I was very sad, and felt very lonely, like no one was there ad everyone hated me. But you have to stop being lonely, and have to open up. You should really go to some social event as you mentioned before. You have to seem approachable, if your the one who is shy and standing in the corner waiting for someone to approach you, you have to take a little risk. I used to be like that and the best way to make a friend is just approach them first. It worked for me, all I did was go up to a person that seemed friendly, started a conversation, asked them if they wanted to have lunch with me, and now I have a very good friend. :) What worked for me was just saying "Hey, what's up?" I know It's a little hard to just put yourself out there and approach some random person, but it works really well, if you are both friendly. :) I really hope you the best :D





EDIT: I did read the whole thing and I can't believe people aren't taking this question seriously, and just answering unhelpful answers it really pisses me off when I need a helpful serious answer, and people answer crap... That was totally irrelevant to the topic, but whatever, I just wanted to say that. XD

Answer 3

i didnt read the whole question but i guess all there is to say is that they werent good friends to begin with if they just let the friendship you guys had slip.ure probably better off without them. except thats not alwas the case cause maybe they are upset that you havent made the effort either. maybe try talking to them about it. maybe itll answer some of your questions as to why you drifted so far apart. also, theres always a lot of time to make new froends. since you seem young, the opportunity to meet new people will come along many more times. volunteer around the community or go to social events around your comunity.

Answer 4

ok obviously people have really stupid responses but i know how it feels. honestly i didnt read your whole paragraph but i scanned over it and i know what its like to feel alone or like you dont have any real friends. it really sucks when you need to talk to a good girl or guy friend and you scrolling through your contacts and theres no one that really would understand you. i think the best thing to do is maybe try to get a job where theres new people to work with and get to know, talk to people in your classes, and you may even have to step out of your comfort zone by asking someone to hang out. even if you feel pathetic its a step. the worst thing you can do (which i did) is feel hopeless and like theres no way to make friends so you just give up and accept your solitude. join a club, get a job, or just try to talk to new people. i know its easier said than done but its all you really can do

Answer 5

hi, how are you? i hope you fine

first, i have felt the same of your situation but not in college it was in secondary school,after i have graduated from school and recorded in college, no one called me or keep in touch with except on of them until now she ask about me. but what made me feel so sad cause the most impotant to me after graduation changed and never look back not only to me but all our group of friends,i told her why you have changed hey wake up am your friend she keep sayinh i didn't changed but me & u know the defference between befor & now...

but in fact,don't feel that u lose something because they should feel that,and by the way u can find more frinds & better because in my college i met many friends & i enjoyed being with them they are like a gift for me. so,try to make frends & i have the honord to one of your friends,, i am toota 23 years old

Answer 6

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Jesus is the best friend you can have, all others are going to disappoint.



Join activities where you can make friends. Don't be shy, relax and be yourself, there are many others that need your friendship and waiting for you to initiate it.



You can also be happy with no friends, it makes you stronger and you're not badly influenced by their behavior.

Answer 7

Make some new friends.

Answer 8

Make some new friends at your local WALMART.