my family does not speak to me cause of my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend has hit me in the past, but he swears he is going to change. my family do not believe him and they have stopped speaking to me!!

Answer 1

you might want to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend before he does something worse. and as for your family, they should be after HIM, not you. give them a specific time frame, i.e. 6 months, during which he must stick to his promise and treat you (and them) right, and after which they should accept your relationship. the only thing that will allow them to trust him after he's already hit you is time. the only reason i'm giving you this advice instead of saying you should leave him is because you're probably dead set against doing that if you have already allowed it to get the point where your family won't talk to you. so give this a try. you have nothing to lose...unless he really does hit you, in which case i would advise you to get the hell out of the relationship...not for your family's sake but for your own.

Answer 2

Sweet heart THEY NEVER CHANGE. All abusers say that they feel sorry they'll never do it again and they will seek help, they never do, they stop for a month or even a little while but then BAM it's right back to where you were all over again. It'll only progressively get worse he will alienate you from everyone friends, family etc to where you have no one left and no one to turn to and you'll be stuck relying on him.



I'm with your family on this, boyfriends come and go and in two years you wont' even remember this guy but your family will ALWAYS be there no matter what. They can try to make you see reason but if you are too dumb to see what this s_hit is doing to you then all they can do is disassociate themselves from you until you wake up and smell the police report. Is your self esteem that low that you don't think you can do any better?? That you think you actually deserve this treatment?? There are guys out there that DON'T HIT. Any man that lays a hand on a woman should be drawn and quartered. He has very little self esteem that he has to get his kicks by hitting a woman. Think about that.



Leave now before you become another statistic on the evening news as some kids find your beaten body dumped in the woods.



Guys who HIT will always HIT they don't suddenly STOP because they can't. Ever hear of the Burning Bed?? The Donna Yaklich story?? All true stories of women who's husbands said I won't do it again and the women killed them or hired someone to kill them. Both women now do time in prison.

Answer 3

You should dump your boyfriend and go back to your family.

He is abusive and WILL NOT CHANGE EVEN IF HE SAYS HE WILL.

You need to understand that.

He WANTS you to be cut off from your family so he can control you more.

He is happy that your family isn't speaking to you, regardless of what you think.

He will not change, he WILL hit you again.

Your family knows what is best and you need to choose them over him and go to them and they will be supportive and help you get over him.



Oh and as for your comment, these people are helping you by giving honest answers that you should listen to. It sucks to hear it but its true.

Answer 4

Yea I have to agree with Jon Im also on your family's side I mean come on darling its the classic story of the wife beater. I mean how many cases like this have been on the news where the husband has eventually ended up murdering the women. Come on get real girl he is never gonna change men like that never do. I mean do you wanna end up dead or something?

Answer 5

Honey, men dont change. Some of us have to deal with picking up their socks for the rest of our lives, If a man hits you, he will do It again. Maybe not this second, but he will do it again, and again, and again. He is not good for you. No man like that is good for you. Leave him. Now. You deserve happyness.



You need to get help, as far as your family. They should be getting you help instead of turning their backs.

Good luck

Answer 6

They love you and wan't you to drop him by the sounds of it. Its them or him and if he hit you once he'll do it again. Family is more important and they know a lot more than we give them credit for and it can be hard on a father especially to see what happened to you and you going back for more in a sense. Respect the family and they'll respect you. Ditch the beater.

Answer 7

Your family has allowed you , your decision to stay with someone who has hit you. They do not have

to be supportive of this relationship. They are showing you they don't want any part of watching you

make this error to be with this person. They have that right to do so.

I personally don't blame them. You are with someone who has hit you once , this person will do it

again.

I have been with someone who has said those words to me after hitting me , and they promised me

to never do it again. It's a proven fact , once hit , they will do it again.

I wish you the best and hope you realize you are with someone who is abusive and will not change.

Gracy

May.14.10.

Answer 8

Your family are putting unfair pressure on you.On the one hand you love your family (i assume) on the other you love your boyfriend in spite of his past behaviour. Talk to your boyfriend and ask him if he would consider a course on " anger management". Hopefully he would see that if he changed his behaviour towards you then your family might change their minds towards him.

Then they would surely start talking things over with you.

Answer 9

Abusive people very rarely change, in my experience they never change.





I am not sure how your family shunning you helps, but they might feel it is the only way to make you understand how serious this is.

Answer 10

I'm on your families side. How can you stay with somone who hit you? Christ, some people are just thick. He's not going to bloody change!

Answer 11

hi babe,im a dad and to be honest if my daughter was hit by her b/f i would do the same to him.i would never stop talking to her.if he did it again i would do all in my power to get him charged and out of her life.NO man has the right to hit a woman.

Answer 12

He swears he's going to change?



How is he going to change, he's going to shoot you instead?



Get out of the relationship before it gets worse.

Answer 13

Well, you gotta TALK!! Nothing ever happens unless someone TALKS. So I suggest you have a talk with your parents and try and convince them that he will change. That is, only if you believe he will change.

Answer 14

youre stupid if you really think hes going to change. break it off and find someone else... every woman deserves better than what you have now.

Answer 15

You shouldn't have to be around anyone who puts their hands on you. You should tell him if he ever does it again then you'll leave. Then you'll know how important you are to him.

Answer 16

Your some screwed up BI***! if he hits you dump him and press charges, you are retarded. And if he is black.. GET THAT **** OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!