My theory on why some ppl have more friends than others--do you agree?

Question

I really think the most important ingredient to a personality is humor. Being funny is really the trick to making a lot of friends. It's sad, bc it really doesn't depend on who is a GOOD person--a considerate, selfless person...no, you have to be funny.

I always hear stories about these monsterous brides, for instance, or ppl with birthday parties, who expect people to travel, on their own coin, bc they picked a far away destination to celebrate their own special event. They also expect a present on top of that, and are not shy about telling you what they want! (a bridal registry.)

This is audacious, in my opinion--and it's something I would not feel comfortable doing. I would never expect people to spend money to come see me get married or to wish me a happy birthday. I know ppl will say "the guests have fun too!" but I'm talking about when I hear people COMPLAIN that this person is expecting too much. And yet, they are still friends w/ them..they will still be friends w/ them, I guarantee it. I see it happen.

Meanwhile--I don't have any friends. :-( I'm a nice, shy, reserved girl. I admit that sometimes I am a bit aloof and I often, in the cases where I've had ppl invite me out, declined bc sometimes I would rather be home alone...but I do get lonely sometimes. I must have some quirk to my personality that I'm not really aware of...but even when I've had nasty breakups with guys they've never mentioned anything that would lend itself to social awkwardness...so you know those fights when the gloves come off? I feel like they would've mentioned how annoying or off-putting I am in social interaction..and it's never happened. So idk...

But it's a sad world when just being a kind-hearted person is not enough. I knew a guy in college who leaned on me through all of his drama for a couple of years. He asked me to pray for him when he had no one else, etc..and I did. Fast forward 2 years later and I'm dating his friend--who ended up being one of those nasty breakups, and the original guy took his guy friend's side. And was really mean to me for no reason... the last thing I said to him was a txt that read: "There are two tyeps of people in this world--those who extend their arm when you're down, and those who kick you." he knew what I meant and he called me that night, but I ignored the call. It was just really poignant bc he came to me when he was going through a painful breakup, and I reached out to him to see him through it...and then when I was in the exact same situation and didn't even ask him for help, the least he could've done was to stay out of it--but no, he involved himself, against me.. it was really hard to accept the calloussness and brutality of the world sometimes.

And the guy whose side he took is a self-proclaimed a.hole and proud of it. They think it's funny to be vicious to people... so it's just weird that he would take the side of someone he knows to not be a good person, over someone who IS a good person--just bc he's spent fun times drinking with the guy. And the funny thing about a.holes is that they never think that they're gonna hurt each other or their own kind. So you know, those two guys--who are well aware that the other is a jerk...feels safe, like he won't do anything against me...but they're wrong. One will do something messed up to the other, I can almost guarantee it.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Thoughts?

Answer 1

You're almost there. The real deal is that people are naturally confused, so they tack on to other people; and these are "friends." People who have other people tacked on to them have this because they usually have confidence telling other people that they know who they are and where they're going. Humor also plays a big role because it indicates an unconfused person.

Answer 2

I agree in respect to the humor thing to an extent, humor is a big part amongst many but there are many people who aren't humorous so they click together too. I'm not extremely funny either, quite shy infact. The thing with guys is they hang out with other guys that they can "one-up" That guy went to you because he needed someone that wouldn't judge him and hit him down for being sad and single. When it came to your break-up with the guy, your ex would have "one-uped" your guy friend if your guy friend were to help you. You're ex would have "won" so to speak if your guy friend hadn't been mean. Its human instinct to be the best so they both wanted to be mean and the best, so to speak.

That's just my opinion. Its kind of a jumble of thoughts, sorrry about that. Hope it helped or at least contributed some thoughts.

Answer 3

I don't have a lot of friends either and I'm more serious than funny. But I have found a group of new friends on Facebook (all different ages too) that I wouldn't trade for 10 best friends living right next door to me. Facebook can be fun and it can be dangerous if you don't know how to use it. But you can usually tell within a short time if you can be friends with someone on there. And I like it because you judge on talking to each other, not on looks, age, clothing, what kind of car you own, your job, etc. If you were on facebook, I'd be willing to see if we could be friends. But don't give up. It's better to have one or two close friends than 10 kinda friends.

Answer 4

I pretty much agree. It's extremely hard to make any relationship work without a sense of humor. Bein able to let thongs go and not taking everything your close person said goes along with that. And I also agree- the funny guy is always the life of the party. But in the end people who care will win:) I promise!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Agree youre right youre mature :)



listen to my thoughts too:

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