How to deal with a roommate?

Question

I've known my roommate since I started college 2 years ago. The first year he was my next door neighbor in my coed dorm. Then we decided to be roommates the next year. When we were roommates last year, I thought he was a nice guy the first quarter. Then when we came back from Winter Break, he started to begin feeling full of himself. During the first year, he didn't do so well with his grades. When fall quarter of second year was over, he got a good GPA and changed his major. I told him that was great that he got a good GPA. However, I think he went a bit far with expressing his grades and publicizes it too much. I understand that he got a good grade, but he should be mindful of the people around him that has a low self esteem like me. Whenever I get a good grade, I don't go out and bash people with lower grades like that. He kept going on and on with this stuff to this day and I'm just getting tired of it. He's not just like that with his grades, he's like that to people in real life where he has his "one-up" attitude of stepping people over and he feels really happy inside that he steps over people. He just thinks he can do better things than other people and he expresses it clearly.

Here are some examples:

"I'm so amiable! Yay! :D"
"I got 3 dollar tip at work today because I was really nice to the customers! YAY!"
"I got an A+ on my paper when I did it at the last minute! YAY! (he gets more excited by jumping up and down and I'm like inside "STFU!" and laughs)

Also, he has a tendency to think he is always right. As a roommate of him last year, I know that I am not a perfect roommate nor will I ever be. I do try my best to make sure our friendship stays. There are days where I come home really stressed out from school and I express my rudeness towards him and my other roommates. I apologize to him thereafter, feel bad, and I take it into consideration of the future. However, when I talk to him about issues I have in life (I'm sure everybody does), I thought he would be approachable to talk to. But no, he just makes me feel really bad and lowers my self esteem even more and thinks that his methods are right. I called a service center yesterday to ask about the cost of something to repair and he's like "you're not going to get anywhere in life if you are going to jump directly into pricing like that. I get whatever I want by bit**ing at them". I was like "you know what? how about I just not get anywhere in life" and I shut the door on him. I was pissed and I thought he could've just said something else rather than make me feel really bad. He then publicizes it on Facebook that he's "beginning to lose faith in me", etc.

From my understanding of him, he didn't get along with his dorm roommate after spring quarter of first year because his dorm roommate thinks the way he acts and how he makes people feel bad. He made his dorm roommate feel bad and when his dorm roommate talked to him about this that he's makign him feel bad, he got all personal with him and eventually they didn't get along anymore. The guy was feeling bad that my roommate felt bad and wanted to express his feelings but it seems like my current roommate doesn't even want to listen.

My roommate has a high self esteem and I don't. He has told me to improve it and I'm gradually improving it. Honestly, with his arrogance, he's just making situations around here worse. I don't express things directly like that because I fear that would create conflict. He thinks he's an absolutely good roommate and thinks that I am a rude roommate because I've been rude to him a couple of times and I haven't been rude to him since then.

How should I talk to him about his arrogance and how he shouldn't make people feel really bad in real life like that when he doesn't really realize that he's doing it. He's stubborn according to his girlfriend and I just want to solve this issue without causing conflict like his first year roommate. I'm not the like of person that would get like tell him off like his previous roommate. Is it best to leave him alone and just ignore and wait or someone else to tell him off?

This situation is driving me crazy...

Answer 1

i have had a similar experience. life is too short for someone's nonsense like this. i say for you to find another dorm room, or find an apartment. if you can not do either at this time, just try to avoid the guy and spend time elsewhere. you will have to sleep in your room, but you can go to the library, or the student union, or to another friends house and then only return to your room to shower and to get your books and then get the heck away from this guy.



i roomed with a real loser my senior year of college. he was a royal pain the whole year and my whole year was tough. if i had to do it over, i would have just moved and been done with it. that would have been the easiest and the best way. it would have saved a ton of stress. i made it, but he was a real pain to deal with. before that year, he had been a good friend. he joined a frat and became a royal douche bag.



good luck. try to find another place if possible.

Answer 2

Hi, am sorry you feel this way but the first thing to do here is for you to have a healthy image of yourself. I would totally ignore this roommate because his attitude may be what keeps him going in life. (am not trying to defend his being rude and rubbing his success in your face), but you need to understand that the most important thing is your happiness and well being and only you can give yourself those 2 things. But when he tends to be rude to you, you make him understand immediately that he needs to be more polite. Please read all you can on managing people and this situation will be a thing of the past. Good luck.

Answer 3

Just be flat out honest with him. Tell him how it makes you feel and how his actions and words are coming across. If he doesn't get it then he is just a cocky little **** and not much you will be able to do to change him. But if he is cares about being a friend and a good roommate he will listen and try to at least ton it down a little.

Answer 4

First of all, calling the fireplace division could be a nasty inspiration, and vain. If your going to do this, simply name the police, and do not carry the fireplace division into it in any respect. subsequent, who is title is at the rent? I recognise yours is, however are their names there additionally? If its most effective yours, then kick them out. If all your roommates names on it, then talk about it the opposite Non-smoking roommate, and if he has a hindrance it as good, you then 2 have got to talk about it with the opposite 2 and inform them to preserve it out of the ordinary discipline's. I do not think you could get in situation for anything in a personal discipline that does not belong to you. If your different roommate does not desire to support you, or they do not want to transport out, then speak in your landlord and spot if you happen to might allow any person else take over your rent. That could supply them the possibility to discover a further pothead to transport in with them, and also you to depart. You can continually inform them you desire it stopped and you are going to invite the police to seek the condo in the event that they would possibly not quit. If you stroll right into a police station and inform them what's going on, they're going to support to remedy the hindrance, and won't cost you, on account that you pronounced the hindrance.

Answer 5

I've had my fair share of bad room mates.



You can either ignore him or see if you can change rooms.