I miss my old friends, old self, and old life?

Question

I miss my past so much it's not even funny.

I've been stuck in this rut of depression and anxiety for three years, and in the process distanced myself from all of my friends. I used to have plans almost everyday, people always wanting to hang out and my social life was pretty damn good. Now, it's hard for me to even get out of the house.

Just recently I've started feeling like my old self again, and I feel motivated and optimistic about my life (: For those years I avoided my things like my myspace and facebook, to avoid actually socializing, and now I check them both regularly. I've started to talk to my old friends and we're going to hang out soon.

But I'm scared, because what If I'm too much of a different person? When I use to force myself to hang out with friends, I would be so awkward and have no idea what to say. That's around everyone now. I think it's because I don't want anyone to think badly of me. I want to be the old new me next year, and I want to make new friends and just have an awesome time (:

Any advice for me please?
(Btw, I'm going to be a sophmore in highschool, and am seeing a therapist, in case that helps)

Thanksss :D

Answer 1

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I too distanced myself from my friends and life in general. I have shut the whole world out for 3 years now. I am also feeling like old self again. But a lot about me has changed. I feel confident about my new self though.



You should be glad that you are ready to get back out there. I also think that if you changed some you should be proud of what you learned about yourself. Go out into the world with your head held high.



You did some soul searching and that is very healthy. Maybe now your really coming into your own.



Remember like you said your friends are talking to you again. And they obviously forgave you for being neglectful. That means they are genuinely good people to have in your life. That is a rare thing. You should be happy about that. Now you can return the favor by being there for them in return.



If they dont like you because you changed too much then..... those are not the type of friends you need in your life. Then you need to move on.



But from what you have written it sounds like you are gonna be just fine. You have grown some. Be happy and get out there and have that awesome time you were talking about.

Answer 2

I think that the best thing to do, but also maybe the hardest, is to just take that risk and put yourself out there. Go see your friends and do what makes you happy. If you don't risk it, you'll be stuck where you are - and you don't seem totally happy where you are. I was depressed all of last year, but I think it's so important to just put yourself out there and be yourself. Even if you don't completely reconnect with old friends, you'll make new ones - I did, and I'm a pretty shy person! :) Even just from reading your question, it seems like you're such a friendly person! Just have faith in yourself. I promise - that's all it takes.

Answer 3

I can relate to how you're feeling.



I got Postpartum Depression after I gave birth to my first child. Before that, I was super outgoing and friendly; loved socializing. After the depression hit, I became really introverted and avoided social situations at all costs. I lost great friendships over it! Terrible, but true.



I am now just trying to figure out how to be more like the social me and less like the nervous me. I am hoping that after getting back into it, it will become more comfortable.



Good luck to you! (and me, I suppose) We can do this!

Answer 4

oh man, you just described the EXACT same situation i was in (kinda still am) not too long ago. i can totally relate. im about the same age, incoming junior. like you, i was out almost every day. my mom would be mad that i was out so much. my friends and i would go out to eat, play sports, do homework, go party, just about anything. there was one friend in particular that i was really close to. we would actually refer to each other as brothers. after my freshman year though, he left off to college. and thats when it started. we started growing apart, i felt like i was losing my best friend. after that i stopped doing everything i used to do. i isolated myself from all my friends, stopped going out, stopped doing all the extracurricular activities at school. for some reason it affected all parts of my life. i fell into that depression and anxiety you talk about, it really really sucked. i know what your talking about. at first i was wouldn't do anything but wake up, got to school, come home, hw, eat, shower, and sleep. that was my daily routine. i was like that for a couple months. there came a time, though, when i felt enough was enough. i decided i wasn't going to feel sorry for myself anymore.i had to look at myself and be my own worst critic. i had to look for the source of the problem (in my case, losing some one close) and stand up to it. eventually i realized that things aren't going to fix themselves. as far as being scared of being too much of a different person, i think you should just be yourself (i know it sounds corny). don't force anything

Answer 5

Back in sixth grade I was the new kid. I thought I was hip and stylish and everybody would want to be my friend, but that was not so. I missed my best friends from my clean, expensive private school. But alas, they raised their prices, and the economy was down, so I had to go to public school. Ew ew ew was what I was thinking. But what I was really looking forward to was being the popular rich girl with lots of clothes and friends and guys that wanted to date me. What happened was this: I clammed up. I use the word 'clam' because I completely shut down. I missed everybody terribly and I wanted them back, but I couldn't have them no matter what. My homeroom was awful. No one liked me because I wouldn't talk to them. They thought I was stuck up and snotty when the truth was I was just extremely shy. I was thinking, "Hey, the economy will get better, I'll go back to my old school, I don't need these people." Yeah that never happened. I still go to public school. In my switching classes I eventually made three close friends - Monika, Michelle, and Lindsey. We were like quadruplets. Some of us argued, some of us loved some more than others, but we were all still best friends and that was our niche in the school. We stayed friends throughout the summer. In seventh grade only Michelle was in my class. Monika and Lindsey shared a class, but they didn't like each other much anymore because of some misunderstandings. I won't lie, I was pretty upset. Of course I love Michelle and I would do anything for her, but I felt like they stole two thirds of my heart away. Monika eventually grew apart from everyone. She got her own friends and she became popular, in a way. Known for being herself. I kinda admire her for that. Lindsey I still kept in touch with. She was my favorite out of all of them, but partly through seventh grade I had suspicions about her. She was... open with me. Too open. During this time Michelle and I were very distant - I chose to ignore Michelle because i thought Lindsey and I were just becoming closer friends. The truth was a little bit more shocking, though. After a bunch of... awkward events, she tried kissing me and I completely rejected her. We had a big fight and we didn't talk for months. When this happened I turned to Michelle and she understood and at the time I felt as if Michelle was my only friend in the world. See I have this thing where I always want what I can't have. At the time I was a nerd. A big loser. And Michelle was, in my eyes, a bigger nerd. So I stopped talking to her too. I was a friendless loser because I picked at everyone's flaws. This is probably the stage you're in. Not completely accurate, but close enough. Eventually I came to my senses and I called Lindsey and told her I was sorry. I just wasn't that way. She apologized too and we both thought we were 'even', per se. I felt a little more comfortable around her because she started liking someone other than me... yeah she liked Monika. That's a different story though. After I made up with Lindsey I went back to Michelle... again... and she understood... again. That's how good a friend she is. See that's where my problem kicked in. I didn't want to be friends with Lindsey... ew, she was a lesbian. I didn't want to be friends with Michelle... ew, she was a nerd. I looked past that though because I realized I didn't have to have perfect friends, just friends that understood me and friends that I understood. I am in eighth grade now. Monika is in my class. We're in the process of becoming good friends again. Lindsey and Michelle are in two different classes. They are my two best friends, flaws and all. I don't know if this has anything to do with you... but I just want to let you know we all have bad experiences and that we all have problems that need to be resolved. We all change and we all stay the same. If anything, I hope you have a happy ending like I did and that you and your friends make up. If you don't make up with them, that's fine. I hope you make new best friends. I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard, because it was. That's okay, though, because the more difficult the issue is, the more you appreciate the outcome. P. S. I could have used a hug too :)