I love my best friend more than a friend?

Question

Hi, I'm best friends with a girl. Almost all her friends are guys, so she gets along very easily with them. problem is, sometimes i feel that she doesnt think of me as a "best friend", she always chooses other people over me, when other people are around she doesnt say hi or bye or regard me at all. ive always tried to be there for her, cheer her up, stick up for her, and ive told her how special she is to me, how much i care for her and in general, how generally how shes the most important friend in my life. ive been trying hard to make her life happy for over a year now.

when i do try to address the problem of feeling ignored or excluded, she'll just say one thing to make me happy, but it truly just feels like a really empty statement. theres nothing shes ever done to show that im important or special to her. shes never done anything good for me of her own accord.

ive started to love her more than a friend too. i know she likes someone else as well, and that person i know is interested in another person. i just feel i cant let go, how im going to cope with her ignoring me further to spend time with a guy who doesnt know her as well and probably wont treat her as well either. i know she wont love me back, and im kinda afraid of the time im going to lose her. i cant end being "best friends" with her, i feel it'll be extremely awkward since she hangs out with my group of friends all the time and the other guys would give me hell, thinking ive betrayed her. i feel i cant be appreciated by her, and lately its been hell, cant get her out of my mind. life feels really empty without her.

what can i do... thanks in advance

Answer 1

try to be true to yourself and to her...

one day, she will definitely realize ur commitment and love, if it is true.. and will come to you even without you realizing it..

Answer 2

My suggestion, try to move on. For all you know there could be someone who may feel the same way about you, if not now, in the future.



I guess it's part of growing up. You have to get in touch with who you are as well as you're boundaries. You know something, when the time comes and you're really comfortable with telling her how you feel and how you'd like the relationship to proceed, then the trauma, the emotional longing won't be as traumatic (the possibility of rejection). By not communicating with her will not move this to the next step one way or the other. If the friendship cannot stand the test of communicating your feelings toward her, maybe she is not really the "best friend" you thought.



Just food for thought, why would anyone want to be romantically involved with someone they just didn't like to begin with? I mean when the "honeymoon" is over, you really have to ask yourself, what's there to sustain a relationship? The foundation has to rely on friendship first. This is a big part of reflecting on what's important to you. If you remember this, you'll never have to wander around with anxiety and tension.



btw - I didn't learn and realize this overnight. I had to go through the same cycle(s) and pain you're describing with multiple people in different time periods in my life. What I have told may not make sense fully now, but it will over time. If you're not getting your heart broken every once and a while you're not growing and learning.

Answer 3

Girls won't respect you if you don't respect yourself. Don't waste any more time pursuing this girl, don't give her any special attention, just treat her like one of the guys. There are plenty of girls out there, there's no point in getting hung up on one if she isn't interested, and this girl is definitely not interested. Don't take it personally. You aren't interested in every girl you meet, right? So you can't expect every girl to be interested in you.



Also a word of warning, you're in a pretty weak position right now in this friendship and if you're not careful she may try to manipulate you. Be wary of any sudden changes in her attitude towards you.

Answer 4

You need to make a decision on whether or not you are ok with just being friends. Turn it around. What if you were hanging out with a bunch of girls and there were several you liked, but some you just considered "friends." You can't make someone like you "that way" if they just don't feel it. You may need to regroup your social circle. No one likes the "creeper."

Answer 5

Screw her find another girl. There's plenty of fish in the ocean. Let her make the mistake instead of you. Find someone who actually cares and takes the time to be with you.

Answer 6

I would explain to her that you want to be more than friends and keep going at it until you can make a unexpected moment like kiss her or ask her if she wants to go out

Answer 7

give up. smoke a bowl of some dank *** bud, and forget about her.

Answer 8

same ****** boat im in..



im gonna watch this question for advice

Answer 9

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