Lost my best friend because.....?

Question

I suffer from depression only 19 and I've lost many friends to it but there's this one friend who I trusted the most and relyed on an depended on to help me though the depression and I guess I took alot out on her bcos I'm angry all the tym bcos I'm upset abrt how I'm dealin with the depression and she was my best friend and last week she told me she Neva wanted me to contact her again. Now I've got no friends left and no1 to talk to or help me. It upsets me ever since she told me not to contact her, she doesn't seem bothered I guess ive hurt her too much by taking my anger out on her bcos I'm upset but I don't and never mean it I'm just findin it hard dealing with this depression thing. I miss her lots. She hates me. I wish she was my friend again.

Answer 1

I implore you to seek help, not from peers, but from professionals.

This is obviously causing you great interpersonal problems.

I've been there. and Yea, sounds like she has had enough. Sorry. But you can't take it out on other people and put your depression on people without it affecting them and your relationship negatively. I know you know that now.

Depression is not a reason to take it out on people. But at the same time, it's not something you can always control. If it were so simple, I am sure you would have done so. But you can make the choice to seek help. True amends is when you turn away from your behavior. It doesn't sound like you can do that right now. I would leave it alone for now and maybe down the road she will forgive you. It takes time.

I am a person who deals with depression herself; I have a sister who put hers on me for 5 years. I limit my contact with her because she won't 1.) apologize 2.) correct her behavior. It unfortunately becomes a one-sided relationship where one person often feels abused/used, especially if someone takes out their misery on another person.

Nothing will really change until you seek help.

Once a friend always a friend-- but have you been a friend to her? Depression or not, having someone take their anger out on you is unfair and destructive.

Take walks. Eat healthy. Join clubs & afterschool activities so you can build a support group. Seek counseling.

Answer 2

there must be some other reason she isn't speaking to you other than your depression. did you do something that she may have taken the wrong way? is your depression making you lash out at people, perhaps you said something hurtful? either way, I don't think it is healthy to rely on this one friend for everything. she isn't even a good friend anyway, she won't understand what you are going through. real friends will be there for you. why don't you focus on something else right now, like figure out a way to help feel less depressed, because if you don't you will probably just continue to have problems in relationships. but you will find some good people eventually, so don't worry. don't let yourself feel so bad about this.

Answer 3

1 Take time to mourn over your loss. This is a big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.



2 After giving yourself some time to grieve the friendship, stop thinking about it all the time. It can drive you crazy. You may never know what happened, or why your friend let you down. You may never know why you didn't realize what kind of person this was in the first place. You may begin to fear making friends because of the risk that you will be betrayed again. It's time to stop these thoughts.



3 When you find that you are thinking about the person who has hurt you, stop immediately. Breathe in deeply, and use your inner voice to repeat something positive. For example, "I am a good person. The world is full of good things for me." Repeat this every time you find that you are thinking about the past.



4 Find a new hobby, activity or regular social event. Don't sit around and sob incessantly. Do something proactive and lively to distract your mind and soul. Quit moping and resume your path in life. Go shopping, treat yourself to something, or go and play a sport. Take up a hobby or set yourself a challenge.



5 Find a new friend. There is always someone new. Talk to people around school, college, work or your neighborhood. Talk to people that you have never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be nice and friendly, but don't be overly friendly the first time you approach them. Just go up and say "Hi" or something, and try to act casually. If you start talking to each other, don't act too eager to be friends too quickly. Just be yourself and stay casual. And take it calmly and slowly - simply because you have lost one friend doesn't mean you should rush out and find another replacement. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and good tending.



6 Avoid spending time thinking of ways to make your former friend jealous. This will only make you look sad and desperate and it only ever rebounds on yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse your sorrowful side but they are a pure waste of energy and dig a deeper level of sadness and inaction for you. If you try to take revenge, it will be very hard if you want to make friends with him or her again. See step 1 again if you find yourself falling into this trap.



7 Keep a casual relationship with your former friend. When you see your former friend around, don't be sour or nasty. If he or she talks to you, don't ignore your former friend. Just say hi back. And don't obsess over her if she deserted you when you needed her she wasn't a good person in the first place!



8 SMILE! Realize that you don't need this person to make you happy, and it is not the end of the world now that they have gone. It is one of life's lessons and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what happened for you to learn from.



9 Don't let this friend know that you are upset because then he/she might think she has won. Or, your former friend may simply be irritated to think you still harbor a desire for friendship with them and may be provoked into spreading malicious gossip about you.



10 Stay strong! If what this person did was bad, don't accept them back as a friend. If he or she begs or promises to be a good friend, stay firm unless you think this person has really changed or you feel it would be wrong not to. Don't be weak, you will just look and be treated like a doormat!



11 Remember that with every ending, there is a new beginning. That means, there's time to get your life going in the direction you want. Be good to yourself and hang out with new interesting people.



Hope i helped in a little way!



much love,

nothing personal