My daughter-in-law said she does not trust me with my 4 month old grandchild. Will I ever get over the pain?

Question

There is no justification as to why she feels this way.

Answer 1

You will get over it but it will be along time. You need to sit her down and find out the reason. Do she dislike you for any reason or is she just being foolish. I think it's foolish. There's no way in hell she can keep you from keeping your grandchild. What do your son say about that? Is he okay with it or what. That's not right. Try to talk to the both of them and see what happen. Good luck. Let God be on your side.

Answer 2

Have you talked to your son about this? Not that I approve of trying to get between your son and his wife but in this case I think you are justified. Maybe he can help you get to the bottom of this. I am so sorry that your daughter-in-law is behaving in this way. I know it would be hard to accept no matter what the reason, but could this be an over-reaction on her part caused by being a first time parent or something? Just an idea - although it still does not justify it all and I am sorry for your pain. No matter what, be there for your grandchild - it will pay off in the end with a wonderful relationship for you and will hopefully result in your being trusted as well. Good luck and God Bless. Now, go talk to your son!!!

Answer 3

Some new mothers are overprotective. Instead of getting your feelings hurt and letting it build into a bad relationship, tell her that even though you raised your son (and maybe other kids) it was a while ago. Perhaps she would watch you care for the child while she's around so that she is reassured that you know how to take care of a baby. Tell her that you understand she is the mother and may have different views on raising kids, but you will respect her views and do things her way. Remind her how special it is to be a grandmother, and that you really don't want to miss out on bonding with the baby when he's young.



Take it in baby steps if she's more comfortable with that. I'll bet that in time she will come around.



You might also ask her why she doesn't trust you with the baby. Remind her that this is your grandchild and you would never do anything to hurt him. Ask her how she would feel when the child grew up and had a baby if she wasn't allowed to care for the child.



You might also discuss it with your son, not whinning about it, but just by saying it concerns you and you don't understand why your daughter-in-law feels this way. Maybe he can shed some light on it.



If she still doesn't trust you, just give her some time and don't let it hurt your feelings.

Answer 4

Unless she has a valid reason to think this way(you're a heavy drinker etc.), give it time.

Is this your first grandchild from her? I am guessing this is her first AND your first too. New mother's tend to be over protective with their first child. She may may think you worry too much or NOT enough or she just likes to do things differently. This may create allot of anxiety for you but she's not thinking about you. She may be demonstrating that she is the "Mom" and she knows what she's doing.

What is happening here may not be you at all. She may be suffering from postpartum depression or a generalized anxiety disorder.

This problem can stem from many things. Does she come from a family with children that have problems? What does your son say about this?

If you feel she is being ridiculous and your family feels that way too, then, she probably is. Lay low, let time pass. The last thing you want to do is give her reason for the way she is acting.

Answer 5

If there is no justification,,,then everyone loses.Agrandparent can have such a great impact on a grandchild and vice versa.Mabe she is just protective at this point,but i hope she comes around because that child deserves to know and spend time with all the people that love him/her.

Answer 6

Man that's not right! Well I don't really think it is an issue of trust, I think it may be a issue of hurting your feelings. Do u two have problems? Or if that is not really something u think may be a factor, talk to your son about what the problem may be. He may have told her a story from the past that has made her believe that there may be some flaw in your mothering. I am not trying to start something but that is where I would start looking.

Answer 7

Im really confused on this one. Why would she NOT let you see your grandchild? Thats alot of crap! They do have grandparents laws now that you can actually take her to court to get rights to your grand child! Is she still married to your son? Well your son needs to be the man here and stand up to his wife and make sure you get to see this child! This is not a fight for u and her- its your SON who needs to stand up and do what is right for you and your grandchild. Good luck to u

Answer 8

she obviously doesnt trust you for some reason and does not trust your parenting technique. Maybe it's something your son told her about his childhood? Maybe you should ask your son why she feels that way. She may be too upset by something he said to talk to you about it. Possibly she needs time to see that you're not that way. Give her time and eventually she will calm down OR she will be certain you are not trusting to have the baby if you push too hard.

Answer 9

With a messed up mother, you're grandchild is going to need you. Don't distance yourself, let it be known you're going to be there for your grandchild any time day or night.