i'm 25 and old friends, school friends don't bother with me or stay in touch at all, would it bother you?

Question

Just would have liked to stay in touch a bit more. I understand we have all moved on and are busy, but no one contacts me now.
Is it normal to stay in touch with school friends?? I am a 25 year old woman.
I live a couple of hours away in the car but thats no reason to not stay in touch is it.
I found a dear friend from my childhood/teenage years on facebook. We were very close from age 8 - 15.
Sent her a message, she replied, I then sent another email and since then i've heard nothing. I sent one more after a couple of weeks just saying Hi, it was nice to catch up and hope she is ok etc. Not heard back.
I'm not expecting to contact each other daily or weekly but at least every 1-2 months. It was first time we'd spoken in 2 years so hoped for more than 1 email. (She has always been a bit rubbish at keeping in touch but even so)
Just think it would have been nice to stay in touch.
Another friend I contact every month or two by text, I said hi hope she is well etc, she replied and said she was ok and am i (she lives only a few miles away) She said when she gets paid we should go out but since then heard nothing. I have told her she is welcome to come over. Don't want to harrass her so haven't got back in touch. I don't want to do all the running. I was close to her from age 14-20 then we fell out, but things are ok now but not the same. Maybe she still resents me as I was her flatmate for a year but then I wanted to move out. I apologised and said it was because I wanted independence but it didn't go down well. that was about 4 years ago and we made up but its not the same. I don't want to drag it all up but I would like to resolve the situation. Maybe she has just moved on too or is busy. I don't have many friends and thats maybe why I look to the past but also I had good friends so why shouldn't I want to stay in touch.
I don't want to do all the running, surely if people wanted to stay in touch they would contact me, but they don't. Are they just being polite to reply?
What do you think??
Thanks

Answer 1

People usually suck at staying in touch. Its not just them, this is what I've noticed because I used to be huge on staying in touch. I stayed in touch with my friend Danielle that I met in 6th grade, we wrote letters for a few years until I lost her address.



I think its great that you want to stay in touch but something I've noticed about Facebook and Myspace is that people will look up others they have known through school or work and just add them to have more "friends" on their accounts, but they don't really stay in touch. Its a superficial type of "friendship."



Like they don't email back and forth, they don't usually visit each other in their respective states, they don't really hang out. I used to have a myspace and facebook and then I deleted them, because people would add me but we wouldn't hang out and the people I did hang out with I could count on one hand and I already had their numbers. So I didn't really need a social networking site for that.



About your flatmate, look if you said it to her in a nice way then what can you do? Sometimes nice people like you get roommates and then they decide "you know I really would like my own place" and there's nothing wrong with that.



As long as you were nice about it then I don't think you should feel bad anymore. She is the one who needs to deal with it now.



Just add the people that you really stay in touch with and that you talk to the most. People add all the people they have ever known and that doesn't always work. Sure maybe you were good friends with some people in the past, but now you're really not. Cherish your good times together but don't feel forced to be friends because of the past.



Only add the people that you talk to the most and that you see the most, delete everyone else. Try to make friends in your new area. Friendship is a two-way street and if its one way then I would just leave and delete those friends. Like I said cherish your good times with those people but its time to move on now.

Answer 2

To tell you the truth a lot of the people on my facebook are from secondary school and i know it sounds sad but i added them for the hell of it, im only in touch with 3, and i dont hear from them on a regular basis. Ive moved on and made new friends now so i dont look at the past. People also change when they get older.



Maybe try to make friends at work or join a club. Dont bother with ignorant people from school.



I dont even bother with facebook anymore because i find it pretentious. Its all about popularity, and look at what a fab life i lead. people just add you to check up on what your doing to be nosy like whether your single and how popular you are.

Answer 3

I'm the same age as you an this type of thing has been happening to me 4 a while now an I'm starting to think that they're just not worth bothering with anymore x

Answer 4

I try to keep in touch with my school friends as much as possible. But it's difficult when we all have classes, jobs, new friends, and other responsibilities. So we don't keep in touch as much as we'd like but we do it as much as we can. And yes i get sad at times because I barely see them since i moved all the way across the country for college, but when I go back to visit them it is the best feeling in the world. Just keep in touch as much as you can, and if they don't respond then they aren't worth it. You can meet new people who would love to hang out with you and who wouldn't give up a chance to hang out with someone who cares about their friends so much.

Answer 5

Pretty much everyone i went to school with has added me to facebook, even a couple of bullies but ive not messeged them and they have not messeged me. When you look back, school is such a small part of your life and everybody changes from that point onwards so we are all completley different people. So you would have to see them as complete strangers you just know the name of. Sucks but its true.

Answer 6

why not go on facebook?



im in contact with loadsa friends who i hadnt seen in years.

Answer 7

they have moved on with there life for better or worse it is time you did the same

Answer 8

nah, I wouldn't let that bother me....